Tales of the Squire – Top 5’s

Now a lot of people have cards they just love and cards they just hate with a burning passion.  I am in the same category as those people and I just wanted to let you lovely readers know what my top 5 favorite and most hated cards are. I hope some of you will post your top 5 loved or hated cards in the comments below. Let’s get right into this.




Isochron Scepter is the type of card that every “noob” loved and I was surely one of those noobs. Then I got better and started playing Scepter Chant in extended and people hated to play against me. I had countless people rage quit or just complain my whole match, but never actually scoop to me. They felt they would be different and could get around the lock, but none of them ever did. I won countless tournaments with the deck and was sad to see it go. Another reason I like Scepter is because my friend wanted to play some vintage on Magic Workstation and told me “serious decks only” which I came into the room with my Scepter Chant deck just to mess around. I went turn 1 Black Lotus, Scepter, imprint Ancestral Recall, land, draw 3, go. I definitely won that game.



Before I really played “serious” Magic I loved to look up old decks with crazy dual lands worth tons of money. $30 Tropical Island was a ton of money at the time. I decided to net deck a Grow deck featuring cards like Quirion Dryad, Daze, Winter Orb, and Gush.  I always felt so good drawing cards “for free.”  My love of Gush then carried over into my vintage playing and while most people were playing Flash, I still held strong to Gush Storm.  I honestly don’t think I ever placed with Gush Storm but I never had more fun playing a deck. If you guys like reading Bryant’s articles about storming off, it’s so much better to do it with Power 9 and 4 Merchant Scrolls. I’m actually hoping to play vintage semi soon and dust off the old Gush Storm. I don’t have any of the high end vintage cards anymore but my Japanese Gushes are still sitting safely in…well my safe. There is one reason though why Gush hurts me. Back when I would foil out my decks, I had a play set of foil Gushes while they were restricted in vintage. I was at an event and sold them for $9 each, which was a dollar more than I bought them for. I was sick of looking at them because I didn’t get to sling vintage cards.  The next day, Gush got unrestricted and the foil price shot back up to $40. Well damn…


Standard is a format then I honestly never played and never had any interest in because I’d rather just play eternal formats.  But one of my friends asked me if I wanted to go to an event like 4 hours away to play in a standard PTQ.  I told him I didn’t have a deck or any money to pay for the event.  Well he decided to give me his all foil Jund deck to play and pay for my food, gas, and entry as long as I went with him and possibly drove the car home.  I did absolutely horrible in the event but people kept commenting on my deck, to which my response was, “Well it’s my first standard event, but hey go big or go home.” Sarkhan though was just a card that I always loved casting and turning things into dragons or drawing extra cards.  Still to this day when I cube and he is passed to me, I take him and try my best to fit him into my deck. I also want to find a Spanish foil one just because he is Sarkhan el Loco.


This card is the main reason I play green in Legacy. It just does everything I could ever possibly want it to do. Tutors are awesome; we all know that, and one that puts the target right into play! I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all why Green Sun’s Zenith is so good because you watch Legacy coverage and hopefully some of you have cast the card. This card also rocks in Standard.  Back in the good old Valakut days, I had my full set with plenty of sneaky targets and people would always moan when I cast it.  I have had people ask me about Standard decks and my first response is almost always, add Green Sun’s Zenith.  The card is so good it had to be banned in Modern, not like that’s a real format anyway.



If you didn’t see this coming then you obviously don’t know me or can’t read the title of my article.  I love Squire for some unknown reason. There is honestly just a little bit of everything about him. He does absolutely nothing, the art isn’t fantastic, but he just rules.  I’ve heard of plenty of other people collecting Squires and even Joe Viola has a Squire altered to be him, which is pretty awesome.  Joe does not have a Jap foil Squire though and a big shoutout to Ryan McKinney for opening that Squire and allowing me to have it.  I also just enjoy collecting a card like Squire because he is no longer in print and not many people have them in their binders, so finding one is like a beautiful gift from the gods each and every time. I will eventually be making an EDH deck in which Squire is my general. If people want to complain he isn’t Legendary then I hate those people. Okay so I don’t, but no need to be scared of Squire.




NO! This is not Squire Cat! Do not say that, or even think it.  I love cats, but this creature single handedly has caused problems because people have to point out that it is better than Squire.  Like I said above, Squire is not some amazing creature and he being outclassed is not hard especially because vanilla creatures have been printed since ever, but this cat will never be Squire and can go lap up some milk.


Now I started playing in Onslaught and I was young and stupid.  I would open packs, be looking at a Polluted Delta and think, “another stupid land in my packs. I want a Visara.”  Goblin Piledriver was a card I opened often and opened enough that I actually had two foil ones.  I had two “junk” foil rares sitting in my binder in front of 2 regular ones.  Scourge came out and with it, Goblin Warchief and people soon realized how awesome Goblins were as a tribe.  I was not into net decking yet and did not realize Goblins was good.  I traded away all of my Goblin Piledrivers for basically nothing and was happy about it.  Now I realize how dumb I actually was.  So now not having the super hot card of the time, I just lost to the card all the time.  Goblins were usually faster than Scepter Chant and even to this day I still will lose to Goblins in legacy.  Piledriver just crushes the competition and even with a weak butt, it still can crush your face in.


Now before Bryant Cook goes all ballistic because I hate Exalted Angel, I just want to say that I actually don’t.  I hate every other morph because they are not Exalted Angel.  Every time that I cube draft and my opponent plays a morph, I just have to assume its Exalted Angel and I will still make that assumption even if the opponent is not playing white.  Onslaught block was basically the morph block and Exalted Angel was the one most people played.  But then again people would play other morphs to make people think it was Exalted Angel.  I have to say that Foothill Guide should never be morphed down but I would always kill it expecting it to be the Angel.  All other morphs are basically liars trying to be Exalted Angel.


Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Price of Progress is the card that Legacy players have encountered for ages because the red mages love to hurt us for having fancy lands.  For about a year I played Lands in legacy and red was always the color I feared the most because of this card and Blood Moon effects.  It is never fun to sit down, play fetch into exploration, into a second land to then have your opponent drop the signature Fire and Lightning Mountain and send three to your head.  At that moment you have to find Zuran Orb or you just cannot win.  It is never fun Wastelanding your own lands and fetching and failing to find to not die.  If you didn’t know this, Lands ran usually about 30+ lands and only one of them was a basic Forest.  Price was a two mana death sentence.  All though just as my luck goes, Price has killed me outside of Legacy.  I was playing in an EDH pod with friends where I only play 3 basics.  Simon, the Khalia player used his Sunforger to get Price of Progress and just wreck me.  Man that card is so annoying. It never ceases to destroy my life.



As I sit here, I cannot honestly think of a fifth card that I hate.  I may dislike plenty of cards and vice versa, but there was no way I could get a list to 10 cards in either direction.  There are definitely honorable mentions in the Love category but mainly because I enjoy the mechanic behind the card.  I think that Cascade is an awesome mechanic so of course Bloodbraid Elf is a card I enjoy, but not love.  Also Squadron Hawk was an awesome addition to my Bant deck from the Jupiter Games Invitational.


If you guys want to leave a comment below and let me know some cards you hate and love that would be awesome. You can also Tweet them at me, @rocketrae21


5 thoughts on “Tales of the Squire – Top 5’s”

  1. You collect Squire, I collect Cheatyface ^_^  No one carries cheatyface anywhere, let alone unhinged cards to begin with!

  2. Hmm Boros deck with PoP, E Angel, Red Akroma, Warbreak Trumpeter, Unstable Hulk, Skirk Volcanist, Skirk Marauder, Skirk Commando, Goblin Taskmaster,  Goblin Piledriver, and better Squire, I think it can be done! 

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